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Help?

Okay, so can someone help me? 
I'm having trouble working out how to get the right layout to post to alltimeslash on here

I think I'm just being dim and everything but I'm so confused and tired so if someone could help? that would be amazing! 

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Remembering Sunday (s/a)

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own All Time Low. Just the o/c and plot. 

 The rain wouldn’t stop pouring, crashing down on my head, pushing away the outside world and keeping me trapped inside the hood of my zip up jacket; my ears hearing every movement they made against my beanie hat.
I wasn’t lost per se, I knew where I was going, it was just harder than I thought without the group of teenage boys leading the way. I can’t say I really missed them.
What with the fighting and the Xbox and the constant band practise, it was peaceful now. Since they’d left for tour two months ago, leaving me behind alone.

I guess I’d miss them more if myself and Alex had parted on better terms.

I pushed through the undergrowth and kicked at the sodden leaves, trying to find some kind of shelter and respite. Today they were coming home, all four of them.
Alex, Rian, Zack… and Jack. Known to most people as All Time Low; but to me they were just my best friends and my dorky brother.

I was starting to get frustrated, and I’d almost given up and turned around when I saw it, through the blurred surroundings, with water sliding down the wooden roof I found our den.
Fighting my way through the wet bushes and carrying my heavy guitar case across my back I hurried inside, sliding the wooden catch down across the door and looking around.

The place had been abandoned for a good few weeks now; two months if we’re being exact. Which we’re not, are we.

The place still smelt of their sweat, still held the signs of their presence – whether it was Jack’s Glamour Kills snapback, or Rian’s sock stuffed down the side of the sofa, even some of Zack’s weights had been left behind, forgotten until they returned. Like me I guess.

The bitterness of being left behind still stung, so did the rejection of the one and only Jack Bassam Barakat. Though it’s not like that’s why I was avoiding meeting them on their return. No.

I kicked away an empty beer can and listened to the rain pour onto the rooftop as I unlatched the guitar case and pulled out my baby. I stroked the silky wood of my acoustic guitar and held it close, laying down across the couch, my feet lounging over the edge; the wet tips of my honey coloured hair that so perfectly matched Alex’s, were cold against my breastbone and I closed my eyes.

The sound of Remembering Sunday filled my ears, battling with the sound of the forceful rain as I strummed along to my favourite song.

“Alex!” I whined, pouting and tugging at the boy’s hair. “Teach it me!”
Alex looked over at me and rolled his eyes, the corners of his mouth turning up into the signature Gaskarth smirk.
“Why should I?” He asked me, laughing as Jack punched his arm.
“Come on dude, don’t be dick! The lady asked politely” he chirped playfully, before a dirty sock hit his face. “Rian! C’mon! What the hell?” he yelled before stuffing it down the side of the couch cushion and sitting over it before Rian could come and retrieve it.
“Alex, you’re leaving me next week! Your own little sister, to fend for herself and live alone to die of boredom and alone..ness”
“You’re so melodramatic.”
“Teach me!” I yelled again, “Seriously it’s my favourite song, and I still don’t know any of All Time Low's songs.”
Alex frowned and gave in with a sigh before handing me his acoustic.
It took the rest of the day but I learnt it pretty easily. Remembering Sunday was a simple song really, I just wanted Alex to teach me it, as a parting gift for leaving me.

We both sung as I played the song through as the day began to end; Jack clapped happily when we’d finished and both Zack and Rian praised my skills. Alex just smiled at me and stroked my hair. I returned the smile and took a look at Jack while he wasn’t looking, I sighed as the tall boy laughed, showing off his perfect teeth, messing with his raven hair and letting his nose scrunch up in such an adorable way I couldn’t help but smile as I sighed.

That is what I was going to miss, seeing that, even if he treated me like one of the boys, one of his best friends I’d never be able to see him as anything but the beautiful, awkward and childlike teenager who I secretly adored. Alex leant over and flicked my nose pulling me away from my thoughts and looked pointedly at Jack.
“Tell him.” He murmured in a low voice before moving to open a beer and watch Zack lift large weights with ease.

I sighed again sitting up after finishing the song; my thoughts were far away, lost in the sea of music and rain twisting in my head. Memories were floating along through my mind, making my heart ache with missing them, but I refused to go back now. I’d let him leave first; I didn’t want to face Jack now. Not ever really.

I thought back to the day before they left, how Alex had pushed his way into my bedroom, moaned loudly at the mess, and flopped himself across my bed. 

"You need to tell him..." he'd said, throwing a pillow at me as I huffed out a sigh rolling my eyes. 

"No I don't... I'm fine, we're fine. It's cool how it is, it isn't going to change and I don't want to mess anything up. Leave it"

The conversation had ended there quickly - in all honesty I'd expected him to put up more of a fight than just to leave without having the last say. Though as Alex left my room, he picked up my hairspray shot me a pissed glare and stormed out. 

The rain was easing up now, leaving a damp smell in the air. I could hear the creak of the old wood and I lazily strummed parts of the one All Time Low song I knew. My eyes began to feel heavy and I closed them, subconsciously letting the memories dance into my thoughts. 

Tap. Ping. My head shot up off of the desk I'd been leaning on; a page latched onto my face and my eyes searched for the source of the sound as I pushed it away carelessly. Tap. Ping. I let my eyes wander to the window and moved towards it. 
I was an avid read of creepy/paranormal stories, and if they'd taught me anything it was do not look out a window into darkness. 
I chuckled to myself, brushing away the immature thoughts and pulled away the edge of the curtains, looking down onto the front porch of our house; only to be greeted by the smiling face of Jack himself. 
That certainly wasn't scary.
"Hey fag" I smiled down at him jokingly and he just laughed.
"
"Alex said you wanted to speak to me?" Jack grinned and I noticed how his eyes crinkled in the corners and they all his teeth were visible. Those thoughts however were tinted red with my anger towards Alex. Bastard.
"Oh, really? Well I don't. He was just trying to annoy me." I laughed casually but I thought I saw a frown drop onto Jack's adorable features. He murmured something and then smiled up at me.
"Oh, well, um." he paused, pushing his hands deep into his jean pockets and pushing his hips forward, rocking back on his heels. "I guess I'll go then, see you tomorrow morning Leah?"
Sighing I agreed and gave him a little wave and he moved to turn around, but before he began to walk off he stopped and spun around.
"I'm really gonna' miss you Little Lion." he said, using the nickname they'd given me in middle school. They'd stopped using it a while back, and I was surprised Jack remembered. He smiled and I don't know why, but the first thought to come into my head was 

"I love you"
"What!?" Jack said, shock radiating from his tone and the expression on his face. My face burned red. 
"What?" I asked surprised, playing it cool, as if I didn't say it at all. 
"You said I love you?" Jack's brown eyes were wide, his mouth open and my thoughts raced ahead of my mouth, wouldn't now be the perfect time to come clean? I wouldn't have to face him for another two months, then I'd deal with it. But the coward in me prevailed.

"Oh, yeah, like a brother, you know? You're one of my best friends Jacky" I let out an internal sigh of relief - good cover.
"Yeah! Yeah, obviously. God, not in any other way, fucking crazy. You're like my little sister that would be weird. Whatever dude, I'll see you tomorrow" 

I let him walk away and collapsed onto my bed, that was close.


Maybe then, if I'd have know Alex had heard the first half of the conversation up until my accidental "I love you" I probably would have filled him in, but I didn't know that. I didn't get a chance before he ruined everything. 
I was sat here, hiding out in the rain from everything I needed to run from. Letting them have their reunion without me, a lot less awkward I guess. 
Picking up my guitar I began playing again, singing quietly this time along with the chords. 

Jack was the last to enter the house at 10am, way too early for a Saturday, let alone and Summer Break Saturday. These boys want to kill me. Alex beamed as Jack entered the door.
"Hey love bird! Here to say goodbye to your lover" He sang obnoxiously. 
"I don't love you that much dude, but at least keep the bromance down to a minimum. Also I'd like to mention - I'm stuck on a bus with you for the next couple of months, I'm only saying goodbye to my privacy and sanity." Jack snapped, looked like he was just as affected as I was by the early hour. 
"No asshole, I meant you and Leah!"  Alex laughed jumping excitedly and grinning like a fool. 
I stared at him, "Uhh, What are you talking about?" I asked, still half asleep. Alex rolled his eyes. 
"Don't play stupid! I heard you tell Jack you loved him last night!" The expected gasp from Zack and Rian - the reaction Alex obviously wanted - was issued and I looked confused as Jack laughed.
"You dick, she meant like a brother! We don't see each other like that" 
"Oh quit while you're ahead Jack, I'm her brother I know she's been crazy about you since Freshman year. I told her to tell you and she did!" My mouth fell open, my jaw felt heavy and I couldn't find the will to force my mouth to close. 

Jack looked like he had been hit by an oncoming train and he said nothing as Alex looked between us, realisation dawning on his stupid stubble ridden face. "Oh.." He said flatly. 

Matt hurried through the door waving them forward,
"Guys, the bus is here, hurry up it's late we've gotta go!" No one moved, held by the awkward moment, the thick tension allowing no movement but our low breathing before Matt yelled "C'mon! Move it" before ushering the boys out on his own. 
Jack didn't even look back as he got on the bus, Alex turned to mouth and quick "Sorry" paired with the infamous puppy eyes he gave. 
Rian, Zack and Matt all waved, yelling their goodbyes over their shoulders as they climbed onto the bus - still Jack ignored me, like I wasn't even there. He didn't care.
The rejection stung like a bitch. 


So once again here I was, left alone, hiding away from the people I'd have to face. Though the song was over I continued to play, realising the rain had picked up once more and I didn't know the time. 
I couldn't find the energy to move and grab my phone so I just let my eyes close and hoped to fall asleep for a while.

I was startled awake by a creak and I pushed myself up quickly, in time to see the door swing open and a streak of messy raven hair duck through the opening. 
"Hey.. I thought you'd be here, everyone is looking for you. We missed you." I shuffled around, looking at my feet.
"Sure, sure you did, I bet you were having too much fun to even remember me" and I couldn't help the sarcastic tone in my voice.
Jack only sighed and moved closer to me, "Leah.." he said quietly, I focused on a toppled beer can, the dent in its side and the red logo. 
Jack was right in front of me now though, not going away, not in my head. He was here. He still smelt like his signature aftershave, mixed in with scents like the woods and popcorn, along with the obvious male smell men always had. He leant down, and the scent enveloped me, letting me breath it in and soak it up, a calloused hand moved around my own and pulled me into a standing position and I looked up into those big chocolate eyes. 

"Look I know you're mad, and upset and you probably think that I am the biggest douche bag to walk the earth, and I'm sorry I left you there, without a reply to what Alex had said, leaving you hanging and letting you think I didn't care. Because I really do Leah, I care a lot. It's like everything Alex said was something I'd been waiting for, for a long time and it was finally happening, but you weren't saying anything. You didn't back him up and I thought he had it wrong." he took a shaky breath "I thought Alex had gotten confused I didn't want to show you that it upset me, and even if I believed him I didn't want to look happy, in fear of him being wrong - hurting you in two completely different ways. So I just let Matt take me away, it was easier - running away - than facing everything. Being let down." Jack's hands were clammy now, they were still entwined, resting in between us. He continued, as he looked right at me, my eyes didn't leave his for a second and I could feel the hairs across my skin rising.
"So once again I'm sorry. But as I left I saw your face and you looked crushed, like I'd just grabbed your heart, threw it on the ground and stomped all over it, and I wanted to jump off the bus and hug you, tell you everything was fine, but it was already moving. You didn't answer Alex's texts, or mine for that matter and I didn't know how to get you to talk to me, and if I'm honest with you right now I'm glad we didn't speak. Yes these last two months have been hard not speaking to you, but now I get to say what I need to in person, face to face" He grinned at the inside joke and his eyes sparkled with happiness as he started to play with my fingers. " We've been friends for so long, all of us have, but there's no one, out of any of those guys that makes me feel as comfortable as you. You know everything about me, Alex is a close second, but you know everything. I trust you with my life, and not only are you funny and beautiful and kind and talented, you're my best friend with features that make my heart skip every time you laugh or move your hair. When you touch me I get chills down my spine and this maybe cheesy but unlike Alex I'm not good with words but I can only say I've never felt that way with anyone in my meagre 18 years and it has been proven these last two months that I really cannot live without you around, and that I honestly love you Leah Gaskarth." Jack beamed down at me, but there was a hint of shyness in the way he moved back and looked out at me beneath his hair, I could only smile and crash my lips onto his. 

There was nothing really left to say but "I love you too Jack" and let my hands roam up into his black hair, the feel of his arms wrapping around my waist and the door crashed open and a whooping Alex, Rian and Zack fell through the door, crushing both me and and Jack in a tight hug, fitted perfectly in between a group of our best friends. 
He smiled at me and I kissed his cheek. 

"Next time, I'm not leaving you behind."

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